The Amnon and Tamar Story

Written on 11/26/2024
Jeffrey Stivason

by Jeffrey Stivason

God had cursed David for his sin with Bathsheba. The curse is spelled out in 2 Samuel 12:10-15.  In the next chapter we see the ugly blossom of the curse in David’s life. Not surprisingly, sin produces sin in its own likeness. Just as David had committed sexual sin and murder so too do we see that sexual sin gives birth to murder among David’s children.

The opening of 2 Samuel 13 invites us to meet Tamar, a beautiful girl. She is David’s daughter. But we also meet her half-brother Amnon who appears to be in love with her, but that would be a wrong assumption. The narrator helps us to see that she is merely an object in his eyes. How can we make such a judgment? The narrator tells us that he had made himself sick because he was unable “to do anything to her.”  He sounds like a modern man. He simply wanted her as an object to use her.

Amnon may well have remained a sick and frustrated man had it not been for his cousin Jonadab. He took it upon himself to coach Amnon. Jonadab told his cousin to feign illness and when you father David comes to see you ask him to send your sister to care for you. And so, David sent Tamar to Amnon. The narrator’s use of sent is an ominous reminder of David’s power trip. Only this time he sends his daughter into the arms of evil.

But we should pay attention to more than the ploy. Jonadab did something far worse. After Tamar arrived and began cooking for Amnon, he immediately drove everyone from the room. He asked Tamar to serve him in his bed chamber and when she got close, he grabbed her by the wrist.  But he didn’t immediately force his will upon her.  Instead, he invited her to participate in his sin. He asked her to lie with him. Now, here is the point, when we live in a world of lust, we believe that everyone lives in that same world. When we lie, we believe that everyone is a liar. When we are consumed with greed, we believe everyone else is just as greedy. So, Jonadab had convinced Amnon that if Tamar were put in a situation of secrecy, she would reveal the same lusts and reciprocate.

But Amnon didn’t expect his half-sister to be godly. In fact, she, being godly, recognized ungodliness immediately. She said to him that if he carried out his plan, he would be a fool in Israel (v. 13)! Unfortunately, he played the fool. He persecuted her for godliness and assaulted her.

Now, the text gives four reactions that are noteworthy. First, Amnon hated Tamar, which is what we expected from the beginning. He used her as an object and tossed her aside.  Second, Absalom’s response is questionable. He asked her if she had been with Amnon. When Tamar told Absalom he told her to hold her peace and do not take it to heart. Surely, this causes us to question whether or not Absalom’s anger is righteous. Instead, it looks like one more piece that he will add to his treacherous puzzle later on. Third, David was angry but did nothing. Fourth, Tamar offers a righteous response.

Amnon tried to put her out after using her, but she refused. Why? Because she knew the law. Deuteronomy 22:28-29 addressed her situation. Amnon should have been made to marry and cover her shame. But instead, he threw her out and bolted the door and so she tore her robes, put ashes on her head and made her disgrace public. The text says she lived a desolate life. The fact that Tamar knew the law as she did makes one hope that she understood that One would come who would enter her desolation and redeem her.  I don’t know if she did, but that is my hope. However, let me simply say that if you are in despair due to sin and shame there is One who has entered into these experiences in our stead. He bore the curse in Himself for us that we might have life in His name. And His name is Jesus.

Jeffrey A Stivason (Ph.D. Westminster Theological Seminary) is pastor of Grace Reformed Presbyterian Church in Gibsonia, PA.  He is also Professor of New Testament Studies at the Reformed Presbyterian Theological Seminary in Pittsburgh, PA. Jeff is the Editorial Director of Ref21 and Place for Truth both online magazines of the Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals. 



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